Hear today’s warm and fuzzy here! WF 081313 Giving It Up
** Yesterday I read this post from Kristian Bush of Sugarland. I was so moved by his words that I wanted to share
them with you. I could so relate to the need to let go of the past and let to acknowledge that the mistakes I’ve made
do not define me. I need to let go of the way life was before my life-changing bout with severe pancreatitis. I hope
you see the light bulb go off like I did, after I read/hear Kristian’s words.
Music Monday: “Giving It Up”
Aug 12, 2013
Have you ever woken up and laid there in bed and stared at the ceiling? Not moving yet, just awake. You take a breath, let it out, and say to yourself, “Today is the day,” and feel the resolve that YOU can CHANGE.
Have you ever believed that you can give it up — that bad thing, bad habit, bad love or bad pattern? Realized that the things you are allowing to hold you down or hold you back are no longer making sense? Have you ever decided that you are going to give up those things? That you CAN change, and that it is going to begin now — today, starting here?
It could be giving up an addiction like smoking, or drugs, or alcohol, or giving up on a love that keeps hurting you. It could be giving up a struggle with your mom or dad, and finally loving them for who they are. It could be giving up a terrible fear — of heights, or of flying.
It could be giving up circular thoughts, where you blame yourself for things that have happened in your life. Giving up those hates, those shames, those places that we hide. Giving up the hurt and the scared. Finally forgiving yourself.
Giving it up, palms open, just letting it pour out.
To me, that is one of the hardest moments of anyone’s life.
This song is that moment for me.
When I play it, it actually happens. When we wrote it, Tom Douglas and Jeff Cohen and myself, I felt it in the room. When I recorded it, it was exactly what I thought of when my fingers touched the strings, when my mouth opened and my eyes closed to sing it.
Somewhere in 1998, I remember having the distinct thought that I was giving up bad days. I didn’t like having them — no one does — and I had found some real strength in learning to meditate. Suddenly, I could see the good thing in even the worst circumstances of any day.
That lasted for two years, until my mom suddenly died. I couldn’t find anything good in that day. So it stopped — and I have been trying to find that strength again ever since. You can hear me in this song trying and reaching, still on my quest to find that strength again.
I know it is out there. And so far, the biggest thing I have learned is this: Love is the way back. I am banking on it, and betting everything I have, that Love is what will lead me and all of us back from wherever we wander.
The strength to change is not a result of our strong muscles, our never-ending willpower, or our stubborn resolve, but a result of loving. Loving ourselves, no matter how broken or wronged; Loving others, no matter what they have taken, or given; Loving strangers we have never met; Loving friends and family that are right next to us.
The strength to get out of bed, resolved to change, comes from that Love.
I have three recordings of this song, and you are listening to the most recent one. I love how it makes me move my head when I hear it. I love the words, how they roll and how they pour out. I love Brandon’s clavinet part and I love the melody that happens at the end. I have played it twice live, once in Ft. Knox with the band, and once at Eddie’s with Canaan Smith.
I will conclude this with a list of things I am giving up. Feel free to add on to it:
I am giving up blaming myself for not speaking up when I should have
I am giving up my fear of being wrong
I am giving up some carbs to lose a little weight
I am giving it up
How about you?