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Have you ever been hurt by someones words or actions? Have you felt betrayed, dismissed or offended? I have. It hurts. Depending on who the person is in my life, a close relationship, romantic or otherwise affects how deep the hurt feels. There are also those times that someone not so close to me has hurt me by their words or actions, but the hurt is not nearly as deep or long-lasting.
I believe most people are good at their core. I believe that life circumstances and being treated badly by others can cause a good person to behave in ways that are not so good and not becoming of who they are. Anger, bitterness, resentment and hurt feelings can cause many of us to put up walls in receiving love from others and being kind to others.
We each have a choice to be bitter and cynical and to withhold love from those around us. We also have a choice to heal from our past, including all the pain from relationships (even back to our childhood) and become a person who forgives, lets go of negativity and doesn’t hold grudges. I think if we do not heal from our past, we will act out in ways towards others that are not being our best self.
Sometimes people are in such pain over their past, whether things that were said and done to them or things they said and did that they feel guilt and shame over, that they stay stuck in a place of anger, fear and bitterness. The anger and bitterness are over the loss of what they wanted and didn’t get or wished they had done or been (being a better person) and didn’t do. The fear is usually about fearing rejection from others because they faced that before and it hurt. Everyone feels rejected when someone stops loving you and is no longer interested in you being in their life. But rejection does not mean you are worthless! Fear prevents people from accepting love and experiencing good things and perhaps even of loving their own self because they have not accepted the goodness within.
Perhaps people lie, dismiss or betray others and consciously or unconsciously hurt others because they have not thought through how their actions and words affect others. I do not believe most people ‘want’ to hurt others.
“Treat those who are good with goodness, and also treat those who are not good with goodness. Thus goodness is attained. Be honest to those who are honest, and be also honest to those who are not honest. Thus honesty is attained.” ~ Lao Tzu
Excerpt from “Your Words Or Actions May Hurt Others” by Angela SchaefersShare on Facebook