The owner of the radio station asked me if I could put in to words what an extraordinary journey I have been on. It gave me pause. When I think back over the events of this past year, how my life changed in almost an instant, the first word that comes to mind is, “grateful“.
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I am grateful to be alive. Grateful to no longer be sick or in pain. Grateful for a family that has loved me unconditionally. Grateful to a community that has supported and encouraged me. Grateful to old friends and new that have made such a wonderful difference in my life. Grateful to God for so many lessons learned.
It’s impossible to be thankful enough. In big things; sunrises, sunsets, storms that come and move on, blue skies, and in small things; a smile from a child, a kind word from a stranger, a prayer with a friend – my heart is filled with a strange new peace. I’ve heard my entire life about “being at peace” and I wondered what it would be like. And now that I have been to the edge of my life and back I have found that simple place at the foot of a mountain. It’s easier to breath now. Is it because of forgiveness, I wonder? Have I finally forgiven myself
for mistakes made and misconceptions about my life?
That’s not to say that there aren’t still moments of fear, anxiety and yes even downright panic. But it’s different now. I wonder, do you have to get to a place of life or death before you can find peace? Is it an ultimate test that God brings to your life – and yes, that seems to make sense. Faith has to be tested. The spirit has to be humbled. Appreciation comes in a greater sense, when something has been lost.
There have been times when I have taken this life for granted. When I have suffered some remorse at the death of a friend, wondering why it wasn’t me? What makes my life so special? I don’t know the answer to those questions. I only know that I have a second chance and I pray that I don’t miss this opportunity to appreciate things more. I don’t think I will, but still, I pray with a grateful heart for this special gift.
Written by Robynn Jaymes